


Unfinished Business

by SharkGirl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, M/M, Past Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Spoilers, Top!Jean, bottom!Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:31:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkGirl/pseuds/SharkGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>***WARNING SEASON 1 SPOILERS***</p><p>Before Marco Bodt can become a full-fledged angel, he has to complete one exceptionally good deed on Earth:  Ensure Jean Kirschtein’s happiness.  Sounds easy enough...  But when he returns to Earth to complete his task, he finds that his ex-lover is now seeking comfort with that last person Marco expected:  Eren Jaeger.</p><p>A horribly clichéd EreJean or Jearen...lol.  I wrote this during the height of the fandom...hopefully once season two comes out (in the next decade) it will be popular again.</p><p>Happy Birthday Jean!!  April 7th!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death and Rebirth (or something less lame)

**Author's Note:**

> Today is Jean's birthday! So, I thought I'd go ahead and publish this fic, which has been sitting in my docs folder gathering dust.
> 
> I’m back with yet another extremely popular anime that I will totally botch and hopefully no one will notice my lack of knowledge cuz they’ll be distracted by BL. Here’s hoping! Once again, I’d like to thank my beta-chan DolphinGirl. She’s helping me because she’s watched the anime more and read the manga. (I’ve only watched the anime once through season 1) Also, I’m writing another story with a “Jean” as the man character. Hmm…what’s that about?
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) or any of its characters. I simply fell in love with Jean (so I’m torturing him…wait a sec)
> 
> Characters: Jean Kirschtein, Marco Bodt, Eren Jaeger (all last names are my preferred spelling, since I’ve seen them ten different ways, haha)

Marco didn’t remember dying.  He didn’t remember the pain, the blood or the numbness that followed.  He just remembered the sadness.  He hadn’t kept his promise.  He’d died.  He tried his hardest and he couldn’t do the one thing Jean had asked him to do.

                It was warm where he was now and very bright.  He looked down at himself.  He was naked, but he didn’t seem to mind.  He looked at his right side and noticed no scars.  He was whole.  He made a fist with his right hand and smiled.  Someone cleared their throat and he instantly put his hand down, embarrassed.

                “Welcome Marco Bodt, we’ve been expecting you,” a voice called to him.  There was no face, but just a bright light before him.  Marco shielded his eyes.

                “You have?” he questioned, not sure where to look.

                “Of course,” the voice responded.  Marco suddenly wondered if this was heaven.  As if heaven could exist in a world like theirs where insatiable beasts wandered the landscape; their only goal to kill.  He wondered how God could exist in a world like his.  “He does,” the voice responded, reading his thoughts.  It didn’t sound angry.  It just sounded amused.

                “I’m sorry,” Marco apologized anyway, a light blush on his freckled cheeks.

                “No need for that,” the voice was soothing.  “Now, more importantly, let’s talk about your mission.”  He froze.  He’d failed his mission, hadn’t he?  He’d died.  He failed in what he’d set out to do and he’d broken his promise to the person he loved.  “I meant your mission to earn your wings.”

                “My…wings?” Marco was confused.  Was he to be joining the Survey Corps?  Hadn’t he and Jean wanted to join the Military Police together?  His mind was a jumble of memory fragments. 

                “It’s a lot to take in,” the kind voice continued.  “Marco, you’re dead.”

                “I know that,” Marco answered, too quickly.  He apologized again. 

                “But before you can become a full-fledged angel, you have to complete one exceptionally good deed on Earth,” it sounded like the owner of the voice was smiling.  “For someone like you, that should be easy.” 

                “What do I have to do?” Marco had no idea where to start.

                “You just have to do what you wanted to do in life,” the voice responded.  “Ensure Jean Kirschtein’s happiness.”  Marco’s heart soared.  If he had a pulse, he was sure it would be racing. 

                “You mean I get to see Jean again?” he tried to contain his excitement.

                “Yes, but I must warn you,” the voice was solemn.  “Time here passes much more slowly than on Earth,” it explained.  “Jean has been hurting for some time now,” it continued, “you may have your work cut out for you.”

                “I see…” Marco wondered just how long he’d been dead.  He wondered how Jean must have felt when he’d heard of his death.  Or worse…if he’d found him.

                “But we believe in you, Marco Bodt,” the voice was cheery again.  “When you succeed, you’ll be rewarded with your wings and you’ll finally be able to rest in peace.”

                “I’ll do my best,” he saluted, which looked rather funny with him floating there in the nude.  He looked down and blushed.  “But, before I go, do you mind if I have some clothes?”  The voice chuckled and, in a flash of light, Marco found himself in front of a farm house.  He looked down and found himself clothed in a freshly cleaned uniform.  It was dark and no one was around.  He slowly floated up to a window and began his search for Jean.

                Marco was in a hurry.  He couldn’t wait to see Jean again.  His Jean.  He floated by the windows and found many sleeping faces, some familiar and some not, but no Jean yet.  Finally he spotted that familiar crop of ashen hair.  Beneath it a long, slender neck and a pale back, shirtless, he noted.  He watched a single bead of sweat drip down Jean’s back.  Then Marco noticed something strange.  Jean.  HIS Jean was, at this moment, grunting and thrusting into a very eager Eren Jaeger.

                “How…?” Marco watched on in horror as his Jean had sex with the often angry, ‘suicidal bastard,’ as Jean had once put it.  He knew Jean was hurting.  He knew he’d move on eventually, but…this?  Marco couldn’t take this.  He floated away as fast as he could.  He would have to complete his good deed after he recovered from the shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:  Very eager Eren Jaeger is fun to say…like a tongue-twister)


	2. Those eyes never see me

“Ah…Jean…” Eren moaned as the taller boy thrust into him.  The other never said much during sex other than a grunt here or a growl there.  Despite that, Jean was good at what he did.  Eren didn’t dislike sex with Jean.  Not one bit.  Sure, the two had fought once or twice…or a hundred times, but ever since that day that Jean had propositioned him, Eren had begun to enjoy their encounters.  “H-harder,” the shorter boy moaned again.

                “Mmm…” Jean replied and changed the angle causing Eren to arch his back.  Eren loved the way Jean felt inside him.  Jean wasn’t exactly a gentle lover, but he wasn’t too rough either.  He’d been new to the whole ‘sex’ thing when they started, so it was easy to teach him what he liked.  The one thing Eren never instructed Jean on was the delicious nips and licks that Jean peppered all over his body.  It was like he was treasuring every inch of Eren’s skin.  But the kisses on his chest and neck were the only kisses the two shared.  Jean reached a particularly sensitive spot on his neck and Eren clawed at the sheets beneath them.

                “J-jean…” Eren moaned deep in his throat, “so c-close…” he gasped and then threw his head back as he came, Jean following shortly after.  It always ended this way.  Eren would be brought to mind-blowing orgasm and Jean would pull out and collapse on top of him.  Jean would then bury his face in the crook of Eren’s neck as silent sobs wracked his body.  Eren never knew what to do then.  Should he hold him?  Should he rub his back and tell him that everything would be alright?  Eren knew full well that when Jean made love to him, it wasn’t Eren’s skin the taller boy wanted to kiss so tenderly.

                “Thanks,” Jean would always say, once he’d calmed down.  Eren suddenly felt his weight and delicious warmth leave him as Jean got up and quickly got dressed.  After that, Jean would leave.  They’d never kissed.  Ever.  Eren knew he was a replacement.  He knew that Jean didn’t see him when they were together.  And he was fine with that.  Yes.  Completely fine.  Or so he told himself.

                “He never helps clean, though,” Eren muttered to himself as he wiped his chest with his soiled shirt and hastily made the bed.  Then, after looking at it, he decided to remake the bed.  Levi would surely lose his shit if you couldn’t bounce a coin off of the sheets.  They’d been using that spare bedroom nearly every night for weeks.  It was so much better than their first time in Eren’s ‘cell’ downstairs.  Although, Eren didn’t mind being chained to the support beam while they did it.  He’d never admit that, though.

                He threw the sheets into the air and smoothed them down, tucking in all four corners tightly.  He liked this bed.  It was their bed.  He blushed, embarrassed at the thought.  Though, neither one had ever slept in it.  After Eren finished making the bed, he crept back down to the basement and put the shackles back around his wrists.  One could only tell they were broken if they looked very closely and Eren was a good actor when they came to unchain him each day for training.

                “Nearly dawn?” Eren sighed tiredly to himself.  Training would not be enjoyable in the morning.  Not at all.

* * *

 

                “I thought all of this ‘training’ stuff was over,” Sasha sighed as her stomach growled loudly.  “We were hand-picked for the Survey Corps and we still have to spar every day?” 

                “Don’t wanna get rusty,” Reiner laughed, his booming voice nearly shaking the ground.  “Besides, it’s kind of fun, don’t you think?” he chuckled again as he pinned her down.  She didn’t put up a fight, her stomach gurgling even louder.

                “Easy for you to say,” Connie said breathlessly as he dodged a kick, “your partner isn’t nearly twice your height.”  He coughed as a well-aimed kick hit him in the chest and knocked the wind out of him.

                “Sorry Connie,” Bertolt apologized and then his eyes widened as the short boy locked their legs and knocked him over, successfully pinning the tall boy.

                “No worries,” Connie grinned.  Marco smiled as he watched his comrades together.  He missed seeing all of them every day.  He missed training together and eating awful food and Jean.  He missed Jean the most.  Marco suddenly felt guilty.  He had been sent back to make Jean happy and the first thing he did was run away.

                “Not again,” the freckled boy promised aloud, though no one could see or hear him.  Although, when he floated by Mikasa, sparing with Eren, he could have sworn she’d looked right at him, eyes wide, but then she went back to training.

                “This is kind of pointless, isn’t it?” Marco heard Jean’s voice.  He turned and saw his lover.  ‘Ex-lover,’ he reminded himself.  Jean had been partnered with Armin and didn’t seem to be enjoying the activity.

                “Jean, it’s important to keep ourselves limber,” Armin pointed out and the taller boy rolled his eyes and nodded.  “Besides, doesn’t it remind you of our training days back before Trost-” but the blonde immediately covered his mouth.  “Jean, I’m sorry, I-”

                “It’s fine,” the ashen-haired boy didn’t look at him.  Marco felt a painful tightening in his chest.  Trost was where he’d…

                “I’m sorry I said anything,” Armin frowned.

                “I said it’s fine,” Jean snapped and then immediately looked sorry.  “I just need a minute,” he walked away and back into the house.  Marco wanted to follow him.  He wanted to hold him, to kiss him and tell him that everything was alright.  Suddenly, he felt the wind knocked out of him, if he could breathe, of course.  He took him a moment to realize that Eren Jaeger had just run through him and into the house.

                “Where’s Eren headed?” Armin turned toward Mikasa as she walked over.

                “He said something about having to go to the bathroom,” but it didn’t look like she believed him.  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “Where did Jean go?”  Marco wanted to find out.  He floated toward the house and went inside, desperately searching for Jean.

* * *

 

                “Oi, horse-face, wait up,” Eren called and the taller boy turned toward him.

                “Seriously?” he grimaced.

                “Hey, you ran off pretty quickly, everything alright?” the shorter boy asked when he noticed Jean’s red-rimmed eyes in the low light inside the house.  Jean wouldn’t meet his eyes.

                “What do you care?” the ashen-haired boy studied the floor.

                “Well, you’re worthless to the corps if you’re distracted and crying all the time,” he crossed his arms over his chest.  He still knew all of Jean’s buttons and just how hard to push.

                “Real nice, Jaeger,” Jean growled, but didn’t explode like he used to.  Eren’s emerald eyes softened and he walked closer to the taller boy, holding a hand out to him.

                “Hey, is everything-” but he was cut off.

                “I don’t need you to comfort me, Jaeger!” Jean slapped his hand away.  That set him off.

                “Oh really?” Eren countered.  “Then why is it that I’ve ‘comforted’ you nearly every night this week?” he growled.  Jean finally looked at him, a light blush on his cheeks.

                “Th-that’s different,” he stammered.

                “I don’t see how it’s any different,” the shorter boy balled his fists.  “Listen,” he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.  “I don’t care that we mess around, that’s fine,” Eren relaxed his shoulders, “but if I’m going to comfort you, you have to let me instead of just using me as some doll you can fuck, pretending I’m Marco-”

                “Don’t you say his name, Jaeger,” Jean growled deep in his throat.  “Don’t you dare say his fucking name.”

                “What, Marco?” Eren threw his arms in the air.  “Marco, Marco, Marco!” he shouted.  “You can’t get over his death if you keep ignoring the fact that he’s dead, Jean.”

                “I know he’s dead!” Jean shouted, too loudly.  “I know…” his voice was softer now, pathetic-sounding.

                “Then stop pretending I’m him when we-” Eren stopped when he saw that Jean was no longer looking at him, but, instead, Jean was staring, wide-eyed, over Eren’s shoulder.  “Jean, what?” but the taller boy pushed past him and ran down the hallway.  Eren stumbled backward and then turned, but he didn’t see anything.  Jean disappeared around a corner and the shorter boy sighed.  “That went well.”


	3. Gone, but not forgotten

Jean couldn’t believe his eyes, but he had seen him.  Marco.  His Marco.  He rounded another corner, blindly searching for him.  Moments earlier Eren had been shouting at him to forget and, as if it had summoned him, Marco appeared before his eyes.  He was just as beautiful as he’d always been.  He was too far down the hallway at that moment to see, but Jean could picture the splatter of freckles on his lover’s tanned cheeks.  He rounded one more corner and came to a dead end.

                “Marco?” he called, fruitlessly.  He looked around and fell to his knees.  “Marco…” his voice cracked and sobs racked his body.  “Don’t leave me…not again…” he cried, knowing that it had only been his imagination.  Marco was dead and he was not coming back.

* * *

 

                Marco took deep breaths, not that he needed to, but old habits die hard.  He had momentarily forgotten that he could pass through walls.  He finally remembered when he came to a dead end, just as Jean had rounded the final corner.  Marco put a hand over his chest, knowing his heart would be racing if it could.

                “He saw me…” he finally realized.  Jean had seen him.  Surely that was a good thing.  “And I ran off like a coward,” he shook his head.  “What am I so afraid of?” Marco put his head in his hands.  “Didn’t I come here to make Jean happy?” he backed up to the wall and slid down until he hit the ground, not realizing that Jean was just on the other side of that wall, mirroring him.  “Jean…I’m sorry…”

* * *

 

                Eren didn’t want to go back outside. Levi had gone off for the day anyway, so the Survey Corps was left to follow his instructions.  Of course, Eren guessed that Levi probably knew he’d play hooky, but he deserved some free time, after all.  And, as long as the place was spotless when the short corporal returned, everything would be fine.

                “Where the hell did Jean run off to?” Eren wondered aloud as he rounded another corner.  It wasn’t like he was worried about him or anything, but the tall boy looked like he’d seen a ghost before he went running like an idiot through the house.  Finally, he found him.  Even though Jean was taller than him, he looked so small, slumped against the wall, dried tear-tracks staining his pale cheeks.

                “He’s gone…” Jean said in a monotone, like he’d said it a thousand times before Eren had found him.  The dark-haired boy sighed and crouched down so he was eye-level with Jean.  He brushed ashen bangs away from his face and cupped his cheek.  Jean didn’t shy away from the touch.

                “I know,” Eren couldn’t be angry, even though Jean had screamed at him earlier.  He leaned forward so their foreheads touched.  “Do you need it?” he did his best not to blush when he asked that.  Usually, it was Jean approaching him, pushing him against a wall or the bed, breathing that he ‘needed it’ in his ear and sending shivers down his spine.  Jean looked up at him.

                “I need it.”

                Eren liked this position.  They hadn’t done it like this before.  Jean was still sitting on the ground and Eren was facing him, sitting on his lap.  It reached so deep this way.  The dark-haired boy moaned as he pushed himself off the ground with his heels and repeatedly impaled himself on Jean’s long length.

                “Good…” Jean breathed.  It startled Eren.  Jean never spoke much during sex.  “It’s good…” he moaned and started moving his hips to meet Eren’s thrusts.

                “Yeah…” Eren agreed, gripping onto Jean’s shoulders desperately before he fell back onto his palms, his shaking arms barely keeping him from falling to the ground as Jean took over and thrust into him, their pace increasing.  “Jean…” the shorter boy’s mouth went slack as he felt something warm beginning to grow in his abdomen.  It was the telltale sign that his climax was approaching.  It was getting too intense like this.  Eren’s arms started to shake more violently.

                “Hold on,” Jean put his hands on Eren’s hips and slid further down on the floor so he was nearly lying down with the shorter boy on top of him.  Eren fell forward and gripped Jean’s shoulders, his hot breath in Jean’s ear.

                “I’m c-cumming,” Eren choked and then bit into Jean’s shoulder to stifle his scream.  This one was big, his vision turned white.  When Jean’s face slowly came back into focus, Eren realized that he’d reached his climax, too, but he wasn’t crying this time.  “No…tears left…?” Eren panted, still trying to catch his breath.

                “Not really,” Jean sighed and used his hands to push himself up the wall, all while the two stayed connected.  “I’m tired,” he mumbled and rested his forehead on Eren’s shoulder.  This was the most Jean had ever talked during and after sex.  Eren was embarrassed to say that he was a little happy.

                “We’d better get dressed and head back outside,” the dark-haired boy said begrudgingly.

                “Yeah, I’m sure Mikasa’s sent out a search party for you by now,” Jean laughed.  He actually laughed.  It sounded really nice.  Eren blushed and grumbled under his breath something that sounded like ‘shut up’ or ‘horse-face.’  “I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Jean leaned forward and Eren’s breath caught in his throat.  Was Jean going to kiss him?  But Jean just lifted the shorter boy off of him and let out a shaky breath, “It was getting hot in there,” he smirked, a blush still tinting his cheeks.

                “Sh-shut up, you bastard,” Eren growled and started picking up his clothes.  “I’m getting dressed and going back outside before someone actually does find us,” he bristled and, after hastily throwing his uniform on, marched around the corner and out of sight.


	4. My Mission

Marco hadn’t heard what was happening on the other side of the wall.  It wasn’t until he heard Eren shout and then a muffled scream that he noticed.  He blushed, well, as much as a ghost can.  He felt jealous.  He and Jean had never gone ‘all the way’ when they were together.  They’d never had the chance.  Marco had waited too long to confess to him.  It was his own fault.

                “And then I went and died,” Marco sighed and stared up at the ceiling.  “Jean…” he took a deep breath.  He stood up and turned around.  He was going to face Jean.  He wasn’t going to run away anymore.  He was going to complete his mission, get his wings and fly as far away from the two ‘lovers’ as he could.  He could be happy without Jean.  He would have to be.  Eren had one major advantage over Marco.  He had a pulse, among other things…

                “Marco,” he heard his name from the other side of the wall.  He shook his dark thoughts away and swallowed, again a habit, and slowly floated through the wall head first, but he paused halfway when he saw that Jean was still so close.  He was, fully clothed, sitting on the floor, his back against the wall.  He had pulled his knees up to his chest.  “Marco, I’m sorry…” he breathed.  Marco smiled, his jealousy fading. 

                “It’s okay, Jean…” he said softly, knowing he couldn’t hear him.  But Jean froze and slowly raised his head, craning his neck until he was staring straight up at him.  Jean’s eyes locked with his.  “You heard that?” Marco swallowed.  Jean opened his mouth and then shut it before opening it again and taking in a shaky breath.  He pushed himself away from the wall and crab-walked a few feet away before he unsteadily got to his feet.

                “M-Marco,” he nearly tripped over an end table and backed up into a wall.  “Is it really you?”  Marco floated the rest of the way through the wall and stood before him, not too close, afraid he’d scare him.  “Don’t be fake,” Jean pointed and him and then chuckled darkly to himself, “you’ve lost it Kirschtein.”  He shook his head.

                “It’s really me,” Marco smiled sadly.  Jean looked back up at him, their eyes locking.

                “Marco,” his voice cracked, “I’m so sorry,” he ran over to him and, before Marco could warn him, Jean ran right through him and nearly ran into the wall.  “This is too cruel,” Jean’s voice was rough.  “I can see you, but I can’t touch you?”

                “It’s the same for me,” Marco said, sounding angry himself.  Jean snapped his head up.  Marco never sounded angry.  “I’ve been watching you,” he said coolly.  “Do you know how hard that’s been?” tears welled in Marco’s eyes.  “I’ve watched you touch him,” he sniffed and Jean swallowed thickly, “I’ve been watching you touch him in ways you never touched me.”  He hadn’t meant to say that, but it just came out.

                “Marco, I…” Jean put a hand over his chest, his breathing was too fast.  Marco started to get worried.  “I…” he said again, staring at the ground, his breathing erratic.  Jean fell to one knee, a hand still clutching his chest.  “M-Marco…I…” Marco reached for him, but his hand passed right though him.  “I…I’m…” Jean tipped to the side and fell.  Marco couldn’t catch him.  He hit his head hard on the wooden floor and didn’t open his eyes after that.

* * *

 

                “You were gone a long time,” Mikasa studied Eren when he returned.  He shrugged his shoulders and took a fighting stance.  He knew she’d give up.  She hadn’t gotten it out of him yet, she certainly wasn’t going to get it out of him now.

                “Jean’s been gone a really long time,” Armin looked concerned.  “I know he was upset, but…”  Eren was starting to get worried, too.  Jean should have followed after him, but there was no sign of the lanky boy.

                “I’ll be right back,” Eren said over his shoulder as he walked back into the house.  He barely heard Mikasa’s exasperated sigh behind him.  Eren walked down the hallway, his pace quickening with each corner, until he broke out in a run.  “Jean!” he called, a bad feeling creeping into his chest.  He finally made it around the final corner and gasped.  Jean was on the floor, motionless.

* * *

 

                Marco was glad that Eren had shown up, albeit slightly jealous that he couldn’t be the one to help Jean.  Eren bent down and moved Jean slowly and carefully, in case he’d really hurt himself.  There was a small pool of blood next to where Jean’s head had been and the right side of his face was smeared with blood.

                “Help!” Eren called, but Marco knew that no one could hear him.  Eren lifted Jean up over his shoulders and carried him down the hallway.  Marco floated behind them, guilt taking over.  It was his fault that Jean had a panic attack.  It was his fault that Jean had lost consciousness and it was his fault that Jean fell and got hurt.  He was a wretched guardian angel and he was even further from his goal of finding Jean happiness.

* * *

 

                Jean’s head felt like it was filled with bread.  His stomach growled a bit at that, but as he opened his eyes, nausea overcame him.  He tried to lift his head, but it fell back onto the pillow with a thud.

                “Good, you’re awake,” squad leader Hange smiled over him.  “You fell and hit your head, do you remember anything?”  Jean furrowed his brows.  Hadn’t Hange been out on some mission with Corporal Levi?  How long had he been out?  He was sparring with Armin and then he fought with Eren and then he and Eren…  “You’re flushed,” Hange put a hand on his forehead, “but you don’t have a fever.”

                “I’m okay,” Jean’s voice didn’t sound like his own.  It was dry and scratchy.  “What time is it?”

                “It’s nearly dinner time,” Hange sat back and chewed her (? Lol) bottom lip.  “I’m going to have someone bring your meal in here later, okay?”  Jean just nodded.  He wasn’t sure if he could sit-up, let alone stand-up.  “Oh, and you have a visitor,” she smiled.  “I’ll show him in.”  Jean nodded and closed his eyes.  He heard the door open and then slip shut again.  Then he heard footsteps and the chair creak as someone sat down next to his bed.

                “Jean…” the voice was quiet, almost too quiet to hear.  Jean felt like he was rude, not opening his eyes, but he was just so tired.  He felt a warm, calloused hand grip his.  “I’m sorry about what happened.”

                “It’s okay, Marco…” Jean mumbled, half asleep.  He felt the hand grip his tighter.  “I love you…” he smiled and then yawned.  The hand was ripped away and Jean heard the door open and slam before he fell asleep again.

* * *

 

                Marco hadn’t missed that.  He’d been floating by Jean’s side since he’d been taken to the make-shift infirmary.  He wanted to be the one to hold Jean’s hand and when Jean said his name followed by those three little words that would always make his heart flutter; he couldn’t help, but feel a little smug as Eren Jaeger stomped out of the room.  Of course, he wasn’t used to feeling jealous.  He really wasn’t acting much like an angel at all.

                “Marco…” Jean moaned softly from the bed and the floating boy smiled.  Smugness forgotten, Marco sat in the empty chair and leaned over the ashen-haired boy.  He remembered when he first admitted his feelings.  If he hadn’t been so terrified himself, he probably would have enjoyed how cute Jean’s reactions were…

***Flashback***

                _“Today sucked,” Jean groaned and flopped onto his bed.  “I’m never sparring again,” he sighed with his eyes closed._

_“It wasn’t that bad,” Marco laughed sitting on his own bed._

_“You didn’t get your ass handed to you by Mikasa,” Jean cracked an eye open and glared at his best friend.  “I just wanted to talk to her a bit more.”_

_“And during that moment of distraction, she pinned you real good,” the freckled boy stifled a giggle when Jean turned to glare at him properly.  “Sorry, sorry,” he held his hands up in defense.  “But, you’ve actually gotten a lot better at hand-to-hand,” Marco said, one hand playing with a loose string on his sheets._

_“And I’m number one at 3DMG,” Jean smirked, anger forgotten.  He thrust a fist into the air.  “Yeah, we’re going to make it into the Military Policy no problem.”_

_“Maybe you are,” Marco shifted uncomfortably on his bed.  “I’m not that good.”_

_“Are you kidding?” Jean sat up on his bed and faced him.  “You’re top ten for sure!”_

_“Not really…” the taller boy sighed.  “I mean, there are a lot of talented people here.”_

_“And you’re one of them,” the ashen-haired boy crossed his arms over his chest.  Marco was about to object, but Jean interrupted.  “Don’t you dare say you’re not,” he held up a hand and the freckled boy closed his mouth.  “Besides, you’ve got a good rapport with everyone,” he added.  “You’d make a great officer one day.”_

_“I don’t know about all that,” he blushed.  “But you’re definitely more talented than I am,” he added._

_“Well, I won’t argue with that,” Jean smiled and lay back down on his bed with his arms behind his head.  Marco smiled.  He liked this.  Just talking and relaxing and pretending that their world wasn’t slowly being destroyed by building-tall monsters._

_“I respect you a lot, Jean,” Marco said after some time had passed.  “I admire you, really.”_

_“You’re really trying to inflate my ego, aren’t you?” he chuckled, still not opening his eyes._

_“Jean, I like you a lot,” the taller boy fidgeted, waiting on baited breath._

_“I like you, too, Marco,” Jean finally sat up and raised an eyebrow.  “You’re, like, my only friend.”_

_“No, I mean…I like you…more than a friend,” Marco finally said it.  He couldn’t look Jean in the eye.  He finally dared a glance when Jean had remained silent.  He expected to see an angry face or maybe find that Jean had hastily sneaked out of the dorms, but he was still there.  Marco was shocked to see that Jean was staring at the ground, his face the brightest shade of red he’d ever seen.  “Is that okay?” he swallowed nervously._

_“Marco, you…” Jean looked everywhere, but at his best friend.  “You don’t mean that.”_

_“Of course I do,” Marco furrowed his brow in confusion.  “I love you, Jean,” he said and suddenly Jean was right next to him on the bed, covering the freckled boy’s mouth with one hand._

_“Shh, don’t say that so loud,” the ashen-haired boy looked around the room to see if anyone was there, but they were all still at dinner.  “Do you want someone to hear you say that?” Jean hissed and slowly pulled his hand from Marco’s mouth._

_“Just one person,” Marco looked at him sadly.  He sighed, “You can’t help who you fall in love with, I’m sorry-” but he was interrupted when Jean pulled him into a kiss.  Marco didn’t even have a chance to respond before Jean pulled away, bright red, and looked at the ground._

_“How was that?” he asked and Marco just blinked, taking in what had just happened.  “Listen, it probably wasn’t any good it was my first time and I-” and this time it was Marco’s turn to interrupt him.  He leaned forward, grabbing Jean’s chin and pulled him into a tender kiss.  This lasted much longer than their first and both boys were out of breath when he pulled away._

_“How was that?” he mimicked, smiling.  Jean didn’t say anything for a moment and Marco began to worry that he’d gone too far.  The ashen-haired boy was looking down again, unable to meet his eyes.  He said something, but Marco couldn’t hear him.  “What?”_

_“Why me?” Jean said again, finally looking up at him.  “You’re nice and people like you and I’m…” he looked down again.  Marco lifted his chin so their eyes met again._

_“You are amazingly talented at everything you do, you’re loyal and you never give up on what you believe in,” the freckled boy gave him a toothy grin, “and you have a short temper, but you’re really cute when you’re angry.”_

_“I’m not cute!” Jean drew his brows together, but any other argument was interrupted by another kiss.  This time Marco licked Jean’s bottom lip, requesting entry.  Jean, who was completely green in this area, opened his mouth without a second thought and moaned into the kiss.  He didn’t realize Marco was pushing him down until his head hit the pillow._

_“I love you, Jean,” he breathed and leaned in to kiss him again.  Marco braced himself with his arms to keep from crushing the boy beneath him.  He shifted on the bed and moved his knee between Jean’s legs, accidentally rubbing him.  Jean gasped and pushed Marco back by his shoulders._

_“Whoa…” Jean panted, not meeting the other boy’s eyes.  “I’ve never, I mean, I’m not, uh-” he stammered and Marco smiled and kissed him on the forehead._

_“Sorry, I got carried away,” the dark-haired boy admitted.  “We can stop,” he said and started to move off of him, but Jean grabbed his arm._

_“We still have a little bit before the others return from dinner,” Jean still wasn’t looking at him and his face was flushed again.  “And…I didn’t mind the kissing,” he finally looked up.  Marco smiled wider than ever and leaned down to continue where they left off._

***End Flashback***

                “What made you kiss me that day?” Marco mused as he watched Jean softly snore on the bed.  He jumped and fell through the chair when he heard a knock at the door.  Jean didn’t stir, but Marco floated out of sight, just in case.

                “Dinner,” a voice called, but when Jean didn’t respond, the door clicked open softly.  “Jean, how are you feeling?”  It was Armin.  Marco was relieved to see the blonde boy.  He wasn’t ready to see Eren again.  Not yet.  “Jean?” Armin set the food down and nudged the taller boy’s shoulder. 

                “Mmm…” Jean furrowed his brow and then slowly blinked his eyes open.  “Armin?” he looked confused.  “Why are you here?”

                “Well, Eren was so insistent upon bringing your dinner to you earlier, but he suddenly changed his mind after his visit,” the blonde paused.  “What did you two fight about this time?” Armin was the only person who could ask that nicely.

                “Eren was here?” Jean sat up and then held his head.  “Oww…”

                “Take it easy,” the short boy pushed Jean back onto the pillows.  “I brought you dinner, please eat it whenever you’re feeling up to it.”  As if on cue, Jean’s stomach growled loudly.  “Or now is fine,” he laughed.  Jean blushed and thanked Armin for the meal.  “I’ll see you later, Jean,” he smiled.  “Feel better.”  Marco liked Armin.  He was nice.  He was sweet.  He wasn’t currently screwing his boyfriend.  Yes, Marco liked Armin a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I thought I'd start off with the first four chapters... I have more written, but I want to see if anyone is actually interested in this, haha. Lemme know~


	5. The past is in the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought I was being all original when I wrote Eren's little backstory bit. Then, my lovely beta DolphinGirl informed me that it's been done before (like...a lot) So, sorry for that, you guys! I'm not going to change it, though...but I won't keep talking about it and bringing it up.

Eren bit into a loaf of bread and tore it off, growling like an animal.  He dunked the bread into his bowl of soup and took another angry bite.

                “You’re going to choke,” Mikasa said matter-of-factly.  Eren glared at her and took a bit gulp of water before taking another huge bite of bread.

                “What’s Eren’s problem?” Connie whispered from the next table over.  “I haven’t seen anyone eat that ravenously since-” but he paused and looked over at Sasha.  “Well, I guess she doesn’t really count though.”

                “Hey,” Sasha said with a mouth full of bread, “I bon eah wike fhat.”  The others at the table just raised an eyebrow.

                “He doesn’t look hungry,” Reiner noted, “he looks pissed.”

                “I wonder if he got into a fight with Jean,” Bertolt mused.

                “But he’s been passed out for half the day,” Connie pointed out.

                “But wasn’t Eren the one who carried him out of the house to get help?” Bertolt added.

                “Maybe he’s the one who knocked him out in the first place,” Sasha suggested, after she swallowed.  They all looked at her.  “What?”

                “I suppose it’s possible,” Connie rubbed his chin.

                “But why would Eren be upset?” Reiner looked at the angry dark-haired boy. 

* * *

 

                “Stupid bastard,” Eren grumbled to himself as he stuffed another piece of bread into his mouth.  He was beyond pissed.  He was the one who carried Jean to safety.  He was the one who went to check on him and that asshole had the nerve to say Marco’s name and that he lo-  He couldn’t finish the thought.

                “You’re going to choke,” he heard Mikasa say and he took a huge gulp of water to swallow.  He just wanted to make sure Jean was alright, that was it.  He was just worried about him.  Well, not worried.  He needed him for scouting missions.  He needed him.  That was it.  “Need who for what?” Mikasa interrupted his thoughts and Eren stared blankly at her until he realized he’d said that last part out loud.

                “Nothing,” Eren grumbled.

                “Oh, Armin, you’re back,” Mikasa smiled at him, or as much of a smile as she could make..  “How’s Jean doing?”  Eren’s ears perked up and he stole a glance at his blonde friend.

                “He’s fine,” the shorter boy said as he sat down to his own dinner.  “He was awake and very hungry,” he laughed.  Eren grunted and kept eating.  “He asked about you,” Armin said and Eren nearly choked on his dinner.  He played it off and cleared his throat.

                “Did he now?” he took a sip of his water.

                “Well, more or less,” Armin took a sip of his soup and grimaced.  It had gotten cold.  “I told him that you were going to bring him dinner, but changed your mind after you visited him.”  Eren groaned.  Why did Armin tell him that?  “He looked confused and asked when you’d been there.”

                “He was sleeping when I went up,” the dark-haired boy answered without looking at his friends.

                “Ah, well, he looked sort of disappointed,” the blonde shrugged and continued to eat his dinner.  Eren couldn’t hide his interest.  He hadn’t really gotten a chance to speak with Jean after what happened.  And he did want to make sure that the horse-face wasn’t too injured to fight.

                “Well, I’m done,” Eren pushed back from the table and gathered his bowl and cup.  “I’m tired,” he lied.  “I think I’m going to go to bed.”  He ignored the look that Armin and Mikasa gave each other.  What did they know?

* * *

 

                Jean was pleasantly full.  Armin was kind enough to bring him two pieces of bread, which he gulped down happily.  He stretched his arms over his head and lay back on the pillows.  He’d had the strangest dream earlier.  It wasn’t a dream, but more of a memory.  It was the night that Marco confessed to him.  He smiled at the memory, but then rolled his eyes when he remembered how childish he’d acted.

                “I was such blushing virgin,” he groaned.  But, he reminded himself, he’d gotten much better at things like that.  Though, he’d still been a little nervous his first time with Eren.  He sighed.  He’d missed when the shorter boy had come to visit him.  He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed the titan-shifter’s company.  “For sex,” he added out loud, like it made it less false.

* * *

 

                “You really like him, huh?” Marco floated from his spot in the corner, but Jean didn’t turn toward him.  “I guess it can’t be helped,” he sighed.  But, again, Jean didn’t turn toward him.  He furrowed his brow.  “Jean?” he waved a hand in front of his face, but nothing happened.  He looked outside and saw that it was dark already.

                “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now,” a familiar voice spoke to him.  He looked around, but saw no one.  It was the same voice that came from the bright light.  “Jean can see and hear you, but no one else, right?”  Marco nodded, not sure where to look.

                “But, why can’t he see me now?” Marco implored.

                “Ever since your death, Jean’s thoughts have been filled with nothing, but you,” the voice responded without changing its calm and happy tone.  Marco’s widened.  “That’s why he can see you so clearly,” the voice came again.  “But things are starting to change.”  Who was he thinking about now?

                “I’m tired…” Marco yawned, sounding defeated.

                “You’ve had a busy day,” the voice said jovially.  “Don’t leave Jean’s side,” it instructed, “I’m sure, when he’s more awake, he’ll see you again.”  He nodded.  “Now, rest and think visible thoughts,” it chuckled.  He was too tired to be annoyed.

                “Do ghosts need sleep?” Marco wondered and then a wave of exhaustion washed over him.  He supposed they did.  He floated down to the floor next to Jean’s bed.  “Goodnight Jean,” he breathed and then closed his eyes.

* * *

 

                Jean wasn’t sure why he was still awake.  He was exhausted and he was actually given orders by Hange to get a decent night’s sleep.  He hadn’t had one in a long time.  The last week had been especially difficult.  He stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes.  His head hurt and his eyelids were getting heavier.  He just wanted to stay up a bit longer.  Just in case Eren came back…

***Flashback***

                _They’d been meeting in secret for a few weeks now.  None of the other recruits had noticed their disappearances and that suited them just fine.  Sometimes Marco would steal dinner and bring it up to the dorms so they could have some alone time there while the rest of their comrades ate in the mess hall.  Other times, they’d sneak away after dark and go to the stables._

_“Mmm…” Jean purred. Tonight, they were alone in the dorms.  Everyone else was still eating and they had at least an hour before they’d be interrupted.  “That’s good,” he moaned as Marco kissed down his neck and thrust against him.  It felt good, but Jean wasn’t getting enough of that delicious friction.  He whined in the back of his throat and opened his eyes.  “Marco?”_

_“Hmm?” the freckled boy moaned in response.  Jean looked up at him.  He looked pretty damn good with his eyes closed, his mouth slightly agape, letting tiny moans out as he rubbed against him.  He really looked like he was enjoying it._

_“Have you ever done anything like this before?” he asked suddenly and Marco opened his eyes, which were completely glazed over._

_“You’re asking me that now?” he panted, half interested and half annoyed._

_“Well, you always seem so confident,” Jean was embarrassed, but he didn’t look away.  Marco stopped moving against him and smiled that smile he loved the most._

_“No, you’re my first,” he answered._

_“For everything?” Jean asked._

_“For everything,” he chuckled._

_“Good,” Jean said and flipped them over so he was on top.  “Then I don’t have to worry if I’m not any good at this,” he grinned and kissed his lover hard.  He slowly reached down and unbuttoned Marco’s pants.  The other boy pulled away from the kiss and gasped._

_“Jean, what are you-?” he began._

_“I just wanted to feel more of you,” the ashen-haired boy rested his forehead against the others.  “Is this not okay?”_

_“It’s more than okay,” Marco’s eyes lit up.  “But how far do you want to…?”_

_“Let me just feel you,” Jean breathed and reached his hand into Marco’s pants.  The freckled boy didn’t say much after that._

***End Flashback***

                Eren slipped into the room.  It was past curfew now, but he didn’t care.  He had intended on coming straight up to Jean’s room after dinner, but Hange had been here and then Levi found him in the hallway and felt the need to go over the plan for the umpteenth time.  He’d finally sneaked away from the short corporal and safely made it to the taller boy’s room.  Said boy was already sleeping.

                “Not this time,” Eren frowned and poked Jean in the cheek with a finger.  Jean knitted his brows and frowned, but didn’t wake up.  “Wake up, horse-face,” the shorter boy poked him again.  Hard.

                “Eren?” Jean blinked his eyes open.  Good.  He said the right name this time.

                “About time you woke up,” emerald eyes glared down at him as he crossed his arms over his chest.  “How’s your head?” he still looked and sounded angry.

                “Better,” Jean said groggily and sat up.  “Good to see you, too,” he rolled his eyes.

                “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead,” Eren sat down in the chair next to the bed.

                “Thank you,” the ashen-haired boy said cynically and reached for the water on his nightstand.  Eren grabbed it and handed it to him.  “Thank you,” he repeated, this time honestly.

                “Does it still hurt?” the dark-haired boy pointed to the bandage wrapped around Jean’s head.  The taller boy shook his head while drinking from the glass of water.  “That’s good then.”

                “Armin told me you came earlier,” Jean said after he set the glass down.  “Thank you.”  He paused and then added, “I’m sorry I wasn’t awake.”

                “You were kind of awake,” Eren looked away from him, a frown on his face.  So, he’d said Marco’s name by accident.  Deep down, Eren had known that.  “Anyway, how are you feeling?”

                “A lot better,” Jean answered.  “I’m not dizzy anymore and my body doesn’t ache.”

                “So, you’re cleared for physical activity?” the shorter boy looked at him with a smirk, but Jean seemed to have missed it.

                “Yeah, Hange said I should be able to train with everyone tomorrow,” the taller boy answered and Eren rolled his eyes.  This idiot.  The dark-haired boy climbed on the bed and straddled him.  Suddenly, it dawned on him.  “Oh,” he swallowed.

                “Yeah,” Eren deadpanned and then leaned down to suck on Jean’s pulse point.

                It felt good like this.  Eren decided that he really liked being on top.  When he rode Jean, he could control the speed and just how deep it went inside him.  He also liked the look on Jean’s face.  The taller boy was usually so calm and collected in bed, but since last night, he’d started to show his needy side and Eren relished in it.

                “You like me on top?” Eren cooed and Jean just nodded, his face flushed and his breaths coming out in pants. 

                “Feels really good like that,” his eyes were glazed over.  Eren liked having this power of him.  Up until now, he felt like Jean was using him as a replacement, but now…he felt like Jean was seeing him.  Eren changed the angle slightly and couldn’t hold back a moan as Jean’s member brushed something inside of him.  “Hey Eren?”

                “Yeah?” the shorter boy’s eyes were closed.

                “Have you ever done anything like this before?”  Eren opened his eyes and looked at him incredulously.

                “You’re asking me that now?” he panted, his face plainly showing his annoyance.  “You know I wasn’t a virgin, Kirschtein,” he rolled his eyes.

                “I know, I just,” Jean moaned when Eren started riding him again.  “You really look like you’re enjoying yourself and I was wondering who else has seen you like this?”  Eren stopped moving.  Was Jean jealous?

                “It doesn’t matter,” the shorter boy said coolly.

                “It kinda does,” Jean grumbled.  So, this is what he’s thinking about when you’re riding him.  Just peachy.  What a romantic guy…Eren was pissed.

                “If you must know,” he sighed angrily, “it wasn’t anyone here.”  Jean looked…relieved? Eren wasn’t sure.  “Okay?”

                “So, an officer then?” Jean asked.  Eren was going to kill him.  He seriously wasn’t going to let him get off until he answered?

                “Some of them may have been,” the dark-haired boy mused, “it was a long time ago.”

                “How long ago?” Jean propped himself up on his elbows.

                “After the wall was breached,” Eren finally admitted.  Jean looked surprised, but he didn’t say anything.  “There wasn’t a lot of food to go around,” he began.  “Armin’s grandpa did the best he could, but it wasn’t enough.”  The taller boy’s eyes were locked on his.  “Armin was already so weak and he was getting weaker,” Eren looked away, “even Mikasa was starting to look too thin.”

                “So you…?” Jean finally spoke.

                “You’d be amazed with how much food you can get by selling yourself,” he couldn’t look Jean in the eye now.  “Of course, it’s easy when the soldiers of the Garrison had been pent up from being on patrol for so long.” 

                “How-?” but Eren cut him off.

                “Of course, they all preferred Armin, but I was damned if I was going to let them lay a finger on him,” he growled.  They were silent for a moment.

                “But you had to have only been ten years old, didn’t it…” Jean began.

                “Hurt?” Eren barked out a laugh.  “Like Hell,” he finished.  “The first time I thought for sure I was going to die,” he closed his eyes and then opened them slowly.  “But it was worth it when I brought the loaves of bread to Armin and Mikasa,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.  “They’d scolded me for stealing it and I let them believe I did.”  A tear started to slide down his cheek.  “It got better though.”  Suddenly Eren felt Jean’s arms around him, holding him tight.

                “That’s over now,” Jean said, gripping him tighter.  “You don’t have to do that anymore.”

                “It doesn’t really matter,” Eren got over the shock of being embraced.  “It got easier and less painful,” he said.  “This body could probably open up to anyone now,” he laughed.  “Why do you think I said ‘yes’ to you so easily?”

                “I don’t believe you,” Jean held him tighter.  “You’re worth more than that.”

                “Maybe I was before,” the shorter boy shook his head and pushed Jean back onto the pillow.  “But if I was, why would I be sleeping with someone who pretends that I’m someone else?” Jean moved so quickly that Eren didn’t have a chance to react.  Suddenly, Eren was on his back, staring up at the taller boy.  “You’re not going to pretend that isn’t true, are you?”

                “Shut up,” Jean growled and, for the first time since they’d started this arrangement, he leaned down and captured Eren’s lips with his.  The kiss was hungry and passionate and anything, but sweet.  Eren let his eyes slip closed and his mouth open up to Jean’s ministrations.  It wasn’t long before Jean started moving inside him again.  Eren pulled his lips away to turn his head and moan.  “You’re worth more than that,” the taller boy repeated, resting his forehead against the others.  Eren suddenly understood.

                “Yeah,” he smiled and then gripped the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, you've read that before somewhere, I'm sure. Ah, well...I suppose it lends itself to stories well. I'll stop beating myself up about it (later)
> 
> Also, I split Chapter 5 up (cuz it really should have ended where I ended it here) I now only have three more pages written...so. any other updates will take *gasp* writing. I suppose I should get back to this. But I'm in the middle of three (yes, three) Free! fics right now. What's a girl to do?
> 
> Ganbare!!


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